Flood

Moments such as these sneak up on me, stalking like a silent predator. In an instant, the fast-moving world creeps into slow motion as I watch my children run barefoot through the rain-drenched grass, toss their heads back in laughter, and soak up the gloriously warm rays of sunlight and infinite sky above.

Warmth fills my soul, and glimpses of faces, places, and bits of memory flood my often overwhelmed mind. I remember trivial memories, such as my childhood best friend, sobbing with me in her bedroom floor when we thought I was going to move out of state. I taste the chlorine and hear the splashing of the pool at the little resort my parents returned to every summer growing up. I relive heartbreaking moments, like the sound of my grandmother's weak voice whisper her last words I would ever hear the night before she died, "I love you," and how I choked on my own words when I tried to tell her back. I can feel the warm, trembling embrace of my grandfather at my high school graduation... his hands on my face, his strong, grey eyes fighting tears as he told me how proud he was of me. Then I shudder, because I was so worried about rushing off to the after-party that I could not fathom I would never feel that embrace again... unknowing he would pass of a heart attack three days later.

My children are young and full of life, yet they possess minimal world experience. I hope for them. Ache for them. As they turn ring-around-the-rosie and collapse into the earth, their laughter piercing the space between us, I fight back the heat of tears threatening to fall. I don't want them to hurt. I don't want them to cry. I don't want them to make mistakes they may come to regret forever. However, I know this is the circle of life. These things I don't want for them only make us human and mold us into who we become. The hurt, tears, and mistakes make us strong and sympathetic to the plights of others.

Still moving in slow-motion, they race toward the swings, hopping on to soar through the watery air and imagine they are flying. My tears are well-formed now, and the first one makes its descent down my cheek. In that moment, I close my eyes, toss my head back, and smile... at the memories, the moments, and the mistakes that have allowed me to appreciate this snapshot in time.